As spring gave way to summer in 2020, runners all over the globe were taking down FKTs. I was running 50-60 miles per week just for fun, so I considered the possibilities. Was now the time to train for my dream of running the 223-mile Ouachita Trail FKT?
A few weeks later, I hired Joe “Stringbean” McConaughey as my coach. McConaughey is a decorated long trail FKT setter, former collegiate track athlete and has coached people to their goals from short to long distances. For months, I put in the prescribed workouts — sometimes solo, sometimes with friends. I felt like training helped me adapt to this new way of life and all things considered, life was going well.
Then, two months before the start of my run, my 59-year-old, Harley-riding, music-loving, flower-gifting, retired warden father passed away due to COVID-19 just one week after being admitted to the emergency room. For those who have lost someone to COVID-19, you know that it is not an easy death, and in our situation, we were not allowed to see him until the very end. At that point, they allowed us to stand outside of his ICU room and view him through a window. The experience was traumatic, and I felt angry about the death my father experienced after a life of hardship. During this time, my training was mostly on hold and I had to spend time reflecting on the possibility of postponing my run. The 223-mile journey along a technical, rocky trail with 40,000 feet of gain would take everything I had mentally, physically and emotionally. Could I do it after the sudden loss of my father?
My anger narrowed my lens on my father’s life to focusing on the hardships he endured and how hard he worked to provide for my brother, my mom and myself. Someone suggested that maybe his life was truly about resiliency rather than hardship because he always got back up after the blows that life threw him. At that moment, I knew I was going to do the run to honor my dad. As my basketball and softball coach growing up, he laid the foundation for my self-belief, discipline, drive and ability to push through even when things get hard. With a fire in my belly, I fully embraced the challenge of the Ouachita Trail and continued my training and preparation.
On March 28, my husband and four friends joined me in driving the hour to Talimena State Park in Oklahoma from our hotel room to start my run. I thought about my dad, “Alright daddy-o, let’s do this.” I set off on the Ouachita Trail at 8 a.m. anticipating pain, fatigue and the hope of healing. The rigors of the technical trail and some unexpected GI distress kept me focused on the task at hand on the first day. Day two brought a particularly challenging and hot section. As I was listening to my playlist, the song “Get Up” by the band Shinedown rang through my headphones. I was only familiar with the song because my dad sent it to me the year before and expressed how he always thought of me when he heard the song. I added it to my running playlist so it would make me smile when it played in the rotation, but this time I broke into a sob. Though my dad was unable to verbalize his love and belief in me, I was able to experience it through the music he loved.
Get up, get up
Get a move on
Get up, get up
What’s taking so long?
Get up, get up
Get a move on
Stop stalling, I’m calling out
Get up, get up
Get a move on
Get up, get up
Ain’t nothing wrong
‘Cause I believe you can be whatever
And I agree you can do much better, trust me
Hearing these lyrics, I laughed at how relevant they were to what I was doing at that very moment. The next three songs, including Zeppelin, were all songs I added from my dad’s playlist, so on top of that hot, exposed ridge, I got some musical time with my pops as I glided down the trail.
Throughout the next couple of days, lessons that were deeply ingrained in me through my experiences with grief, bubbled up to help me continue on the trail with minimal sleep. I reminded myself that I can do hard things. Why is it so easy for us to forget that? My mantra became, “The only way through hard things is through.” Through my pain and exhaustion, I reminded myself to be present and stay curious while looking for pockets of joy. I ran the last 11 miles through the night with my husband and let my mind wander to the gratitude I felt for both of my parents.
3 days and 22 hours after starting the Ouachita Trail in Oklahoma at Talimena State Park, I finished with my crew at Arkansas’s Pinnacle Mountain State Park. I started the run to honor my dad’s resiliency, and ended the run by remembering and honoring my own.
Editor’s note: Fawn Hernandez secured the female supported FKT on the Ouachita Trail in 3d 22h 14m 55s on April 1, 2021.
9 comments
Thank you for sharing Fawn! So inspirational. We are based in Hot Springs, AR and love the Ouachita trail. We lost my wife’s father to COVID in November. We had the same experience looking into windows at the hospital until he passed away within 2 weeks. We both got COVID as a result. I had to make a decision if I was going to continue the 50 mile race and end of the year 50K that I typically do. Similarly, the decision was to “Get up, Get Up, get a move on!” The deep connection on the trail was a strong contributor to my healing. Blessings on you and your family!
Awesome! Thank you so much for sharing. I am so sorry about your father, he will live in you forever!
Love this!!! Strong work Fawn!!
Fawn you never cease to amaze me! Your words make me cry everytime! Not necessarily sad tears but tears of joy watching you navigate through life without your mom & Dad and taking their life lessons and powering on in life. The sad tears do come when I think of them looking down on you with the utmost love and pride. The only way they could witness your entire journey and success is from heaven. Every single step, they were there with you experiencing every single moment. They had the best view!!!💖
Fawn I always said you were your Mom’s “mini me” but as you have proven over and over you are definitely David’s daughter too. You have inherited the best attributes from both your parents. Even though they are not here on Earth physically, I know they are watching and are so very proud of the person you have become, despite all obstacles you have had to overcome. As your father would say with a smiling heart “That’s my baby girl!” ❤️
I know your entire family is so proud of you! Congratulations to you and I love the story!
You have to go through it to get to other side and you are well on your way. Always be kind to yourself 🙂 thank you for sharing!
Wonderful insight into your life and trusting the strenght of character your parents and your faith built in you. I have a real life experience seeing what you did of “ALL THINGS WORK TOGETHER FOR GOOD”.
Thanks everyone! I appreciate the kind words and love.
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